那是一個傍山凹的小鎮 (Portbou)* 俯看蔚綠海灣 讓人想起王文興的背海的人 所背著的那種海 火車是每站都停的那種慢車 而這是終點 但我甚至還搞不清楚 這裡算法國還是西班牙境內 數年前看到的那張相片 帶著我來到這裡 那天Benjamin 同行的有那些人呢 他們住在那一間小旅館呢 至少有一個同行女子 Henny Gurland 於25 Sep 1940目睹了這一切 她後來成為Fromm的妻子 Fromm 之後遷往Mexico的原因正是為了Henny養病 Henny於4 June 1952辭世 那天Benjamin帶著他的遺稿The Arcades Project (Belknap Press, 2002)罷 那天晚上他有沒有在海邊走一走呢 那年他是48歲 Camus和Orwell都是48前後走的 Now我驚訝的是 俯看那個鐵褐色的甬道 我看到了自己
而這個看到自己 是像DON QUIXOTE 最後在鏡中 看到的自己罷 (a la Man of La Mancha) how depressing呢 但在那部浪漫的電影裡 老人夢碎 病臥垂死之際 卻再次激奮地唱著
To dream the impossible dream
To fight the unbeatable foe
To bear with unbearable sorrow
To run where the brave dare not go
To right the unrightable wrong
To love pure and chaste from afar
To try when your arms are too weary
To reach the unreachable star
("The Impossible Dream", from MAN OF LA MANCHA (1972), music by Mitch Leigh and lyrics by Joe Darion)
Endnotes
The Zoo Story (Edward Albee)
The City of Glass (Paul Auster)
Passagen - Hommage a Walter Benjamin. by Dani Karavan, Tel Aviv - Paris, 1990 - 1994
Dani Karavan's "Passagen" memorial has been established at the Spanish border town Portbou in memory of Walter Benjamin (Berlin 1892 - Portbou 1940) and European exiles in the years between 1933 and 1945. With his abstract forms, highly responsive to the bleak nature of the Pyrenees in Catalonia, the artist has endowed the landscape with a sign, both enabling comprehension of existential threat facing 20th century emigrants and constituting an appeal to the future for tolerance and understanding across borders. (from Portbou: Memorial Walter Benjamin)